Thursday, August 3, 2006

Long Time No Post

For those of you have ever found a new life, you'll know locating one is not always seasy, and when one does finally locate said new life, it requires nurturing. But it seems I have finally located a sembelance of one, and perhaps can start posting again. Although Blogger is not allowing me to start new paragraphs, but i was never the most comprehensive writer, was I ? To start, I seen to have fallen in love, without my being really aware of it. harken back to the "I have a date" posts. he was one of them. We were friends, we did some naughty things, we did some not naughty things, and after 8 months or so I find myself falling into something I didnt even know I was capable of. And a few nights ago I told him the " I like you, I think you know that, I like what we have togeteher, even ythough I dont know what that is, but i feeel this awkwardness sometimes that I dont like, and I thought if I said something i would feel better" speech. And now my phone does not ring, and my heart hurts greatly, even though I thought it was so hard it could never hurt again. And I miss my old friend M, who flipped when I left her and NYC, and I am lost and alone and confused, And I am in such pain, pain greater than those stupid stones, because i thougfht I was immune to this...but I am not, it seems. All my fighting and standing strong and someone snuck into my heart, someone who I could have little babies with and make dinner with and someone I could tell my fears and now it may be gone...and I seem to not be as strong as I thought